Wednesday, December 21, 2011

Not 17 - 19 Nineteen - NINETEEN

It isn't a record for me, but it was the largest crowd I've had in a decade.  And it was awesome.  I felt loved.  And the food was great. 

I've lately (read: last two years or so) felt that my cooking mojo was all but lost, but it reappeared in time for Thanksgiving.  With Paula in my head, things went without a hitch. 

And then I stopped blogging.  How could that be?!?!?  The madness of the season, I suppose.

Now I have a big review tomorrow, so here I am blogging :-) 

Our lab moved.  It wasn't pretty.  It isn't pretty.  The new lab sucks.  Designed by people who don't actually work in a hardware lab.  Like, you can't get behind the benches to work on the back of a machine because they installed some fancy-ass covering so that things would look cool.  And the benches aren't "two tier."  They are a simple bench with shelves above.  The stuff above should be sturdy enough for a 4U, fully loaded system, but alas, I better not stack more than a few paperclips or it'll all come down on my head.

Do more with less.  Test hardware without hardware.  Virtualize...  HA! Visualize...  Imagine hardware working together.

Monday, November 28, 2011

Another One Down

Thanksgiving has come and gone - but not before I did a practice run the Saturday before which fed 12 and the real thing, which fed 19.

19!!  Nineteen!  And none of them were babies.  They were all bona fide people who needed to be fed Turkey dinner.  Haven't had a crowd like that since I was in my 20's and had way more energy than I do now :-)

We had a great time.  The food was fabulous.  Paula seems to have left the building, which was a relief. 

I'll do it again next year. 

Wednesday, November 23, 2011

Of Course They Are From Canada



I am sampling their new album.  OMG!

Yes, there's a part of me that just loves that hard driving, pretty much metal, rock-n-roll. 

And they are so CUTE!  Have you seen the cover?!?!  How cute are those boys from Alberta?!?!? 

Just when I thought I couldn't love Canada more, I do.  I want to go there and be there forever among those amazing people.  In those beautiful places.  My love of Canada should be enough for a one way pass to that Heaven on Earth. 

And yeah, Nickelback's new album is 12 solid gold hits. 

Check Out Nickelback

Thank you.  Oh, and - Happy Thanksgiving. 

Tuesday, November 22, 2011

Thanksgiving Madness

I've been fully engulfed in the Thanksgiving madness.  This year there will be 17.  I feared there would be no food if I waited any longer, but I just couldn't shop last night. 

I've embraced my inner morning-person.  Lately I am up no later that 4:30AM to get stupid stuff done so that when I come home at night I can just chill with the fam. 

So by last night I was just too tired to shop.  So my fear sent me to the store at 4:30AM this morning.  Thank goodness for 24hour Safeways :-)  

Turns out they had several extra tons of food, and I bought it all.  If I don't have what I need, I'll just have to improvise.  I sure hope Paula - oh, there she is right on queue talking in my head - will be there during crunch time.  I hope she can help me keep on my feet, lately I get tired.

My biggest anxiety is making sure that all the food is hot.  But by the time you do the last minute stuff and encourage 17 people through a buffet line, its just what it is is...  a cold plate of really yummy food.  Paula tells me that if the food is super-yummy it won't matter that its not burning-your-tongue-hot.

BAM!  Hey, that was a moment of Emeril.  I love him.  As Tony Bourdain said, that fuzzy little guy can really cook!  :-)  Kitchen Confidential rocked - I recommend it.  You gotta love anyone who scourers Scotland for the ultimate haggis.  He's beyond hard core.

Anyway, I got stuff to clean, stuff to prep, and stuff stuff stuff to do to be ready for Thursday.  I love Thanksgiving.  I do it every year.  Its my tradition.  Over the years the crowd has changed, but there's still a core group of us that have been together now for 20 years.  I think its safe to say that we will always have each other.  And we have great memories.  Many of these people remember that last Thanksgiving we all shared when my grandmother was with us, just two months before she unexpectedly passed away.  I'll blog about that some time.  Rocked my world and changed everything. 

Monday, November 21, 2011

My Cooking Mojo has a Voice

Apparently I channel Paula Dean for my recently returned cooking mojo.

She's in my head. 

I was out on looking for mashed potato advice and saw that Paula had a recipe.  I decided to read it.  No sooner did I start to paruse the ingredients than I realized that she was reading them to me in my head.  I could hear her voice.


She's still there.  As I type this, its her voice.

I don't watch Paula Dean.  I've never made one of her recipes before.  Yes, I've seen her a few times while flipping channels back in the days when I watched TV.  And yes, she's all over the grocery store, but...

Come on!  Paula Dean is in my head.  OMG.

I have done a fair amount of cooking lately, and while I have felt for the last year or so that I'd lost my cooking mojo, its felt lately like I may have it back. 

Cooking mojo is something that defines me.  And, come to think of it, I've felt more defined lately. 

But, seriously.  Paula Dean. 

She's a good woman.  And a good cook.  But I sure hope she is just a stand in for the inner voice of my cooking mojo... 

Or maybe I should just accept her sweet southern drawl and throw myself in with both Mid-Atlantic feet :-)


Friday, November 18, 2011

The Arrogance

Its been a while...  A while since I last posted and a while since I last ranted about the new neighbors...  the new corporate neighbors.

They aren't neighbors, they are the new landlords.  The Billionaire Stalker and his happy band of kid-programmers, re-shaping how the universe interacts and gets *way* too much information - but then again, that's because most people are too to keep anything private any more.  But already I digress...

The point is, the folks that bought my campus have totally ripped it apart.  It was beautiful.  And tasteful. It was serene and corporate.  It was a nice place to be.

I won't have to watch this insanity after Dec. 13.  My lab and all my machines are moving.  300K worth per trip, down the great highway to our new digs...

Digression again...

The last week or so they have been trenching out in the courtyard as if there were about to be a war.  Seems they are finishing up, though...  Lots of large pipes sticking out - I think The Stalker is building himself a water park for a giant Slip-and-Slide or some such other corporate tomfoolery.  It would be just like him...

This campus is located in a region of the English speaking world where it doesn't rain for about 6 to 8 months out of the year.  And heaven help you when it rains, its known as El Nino (image a twiddle over that second n, please.).

Its arrogance to install a corporate Slip-n-Slide, but I guess that is what you do when you are barely 30  years old and have a billion $$$.

Thank you.

Wednesday, November 2, 2011

Peony Pink and Plum

I ordered an OttorBox Defender for my new phone.  The only pink one they had was pink/gray.  I called today to check on the order and discovered that they have a new color, peony pink/plum.  Its awesome.  Gorgeous I tell you.  I was able to change the order...

I may wait a few extra days, but I'll survive.  After all its Peony Pink and Plum!

Thank you. 

Tuesday, November 1, 2011

In Preparation for NaNoWriMo

I didn't write a word yesterday.

2K words per day, every day, for 30 days.  While I have a tighter entertaining schedule than I've had all year.  I meant to get out of bed at 4AM and start this morning, but...

I'll squeeze in the first chapter while I work today.  I hope.

Magic is afoot...

Friday, October 28, 2011

So Yeah, We Went To NYC

About two months ago.  It was an awesome trip.  We had a great time.

Today I came across a picture of a place in Central Park on someone's flickr stream and I was reminded about our brief foray to the Upper West Side and Central Park.  And I am struck by how I remember feeling. 

Growing up just steps away from the park, I owned the place.  I really did.  I ran around there all the time.  I played there.  I walked through it to get to the Metropolitan Museum of Art almost every weekend.  It was an extension of my home. 

But when we were there it didn't seem like home any more.  Perhaps the thirty years I've spent on the opposite coast have something to do with that.  Honestly, I've always identified myself as a New Yorker, but the last few times I've been there, I realize that I am not a New Yorker.  I guess I was, but I'm not anymore.  I don't like being a left-coaster.  There's not much to it.  I don't feel like it offers much substance.

I keep thinking I would like to move.  My first two choices are Seattle or Vermont.  Well, actually, I want to live in Vancouver, BC, but that would be more complicated to pull off, as I would need to organize citizenship...  Zeus keeps talking about Austin, but I think it would be too hot for me there...

I guess I am a woman without a place.  That's ok.

I can think of worse things to leave me feeling unsettled.  And, overall, life is still fabulous.

Thank you.

Thursday, October 27, 2011

Pumpkin Awful

How could I forget?!?!?  E had her annual pumpkin carving party last Saturday.  We got together at least three different times and pored over a magazine she had that was full of ideas.  I chose to make a Pumpkin Tiramisu.  I thought it sounded great.

The short story...  It wasn't great.

It was, in fact, Pumpkin Awful.

The long story...  The recipe was so poorly written that there weren't enough ingredients...  or too much...  Too much pumpkin pie-type innerds, not enough whipped cream,  too much coffee with pumpkin spice...  not enough lady fingers...  And the recipe called for 4 layers, divided stuff into 4ths, and then there was only room for three layers, and the picture was only three layers.  I ended up with left-over stuff.  And that stuff was just garbage because it was awful anyway...

Everyone was really nice about it. They said the liked it. And I wasn't putting on a show...  It was awful and I thought so and I said so...  Repeatedly.

Pumpkin Tiramisu... Don't try it.  You won't like it.  Its Awful.

But life is still good.  Thank you.

Wednesday, October 26, 2011

On a Lighter Note

I got my 4S yesterday evening.

My life is transformed.

Zeus likes his, too.  He's got a steeper learning curve, but he'll get it.  After all, he is a unix kernel developer, he can master an iPhone :-)

Life is blessed.  Thank you.

I Ask Again - Where Were the Hawks

So its in...  Amy Winehouse died of alcohol poisoning.  I wrote a bit at the time of her death asking, "Where were the hawks?"  I wanted to know where the people in her life were, that they didn't A) see this coming and B) do something about it.

Okay - Addiction of any kind is not something with which I have any first-hand experience.  Not me, not the people around me.  So, okay, maybe I don't get it.

But, yeah, I don't get it. 

Second, I didn't know Amy.  Perhaps her self-destructiveness was even more epic than her talent.  To describe her as extreme, most likely, doesn't well explain her at all.  And not knowing her, I guess I can't really imagine how difficult and troubled she must have been.  Again, epic beyond my imagination.

But seriously.  She had enough money for a full-time babysitter, if that's what she needed. And I think that's what she needed.  A full time nanny.  Someone in the room with her watching her like a toddler - taking stuff out of her hands, literally, when it wasn't appropriate for her to have it.  Someone shepherding her every move. 

Arguably, she was an adult, but clearly she never developed certain skills. 

I like to think I would have fought harder than her mother did to save her from herself. 

Yes meddling and over-stepping can be problems, but truly, this girl needed over-stepping - whether she acknowledged it or not.  Someone should have been there.

Such a wasteful loss... 

Tuesday, October 25, 2011

Today's Word is Balance

So things are going ok.  Pretty well, in fact.  But balance is the key. 

In other news...  My iphone4s has arrived at the store.  I get to pick it up this evening!!!  Yippy, Yippy, YIPPY!!!!  I can hardly wait. 

I am a geek. 

Thank you, Universe. 

Monday, October 24, 2011

The Most Beautiful Weekend

This past weekend was gorgeous.  Yesterday it was 84 degrees.  And I cleaned out my coat closet, and two-thirds of my kitchen cabinets, and both of my refrigerators.  I was sad to waste my weekend cleaning, but I have just about reached a point in my grand de-cluttering scheme where I can say, things are where I want them to be and the spare stuff is in the garage.

I have been de-cluttering for about 5 years.  We had huge amounts of junk.  Now we don't.  I love that feeling.  With little or no effort my home is tidy.  I like that.  Someone knocks on the door and the first thing I think of is not that my house is a mess.

That's a great satisfaction.  I highly recommend it.

I feel like I am just about to enter a new phase in my life where I can run around and do stuff because I don't always have a mess to clean up first.  Now, some people don't worry about messes, but I just can't stand them.  I guess its a type-A sort of thing, but if there's a mess, I need to clean it up before I can move on to other stuff.

I've lost 15lbs, too.  I am wearing my new, $10 Old Navy Zebra dress.  Zeus said I look fabulous today.

And I feel fabulous.

Friday, October 21, 2011

Broke it Good

I sure did.

In my zeal to clean out part of my lab, I un-cabled a bunch of machines last week.  I started by completely disconnecting all the network connections to the switch at the end of the row.  I forgot about the connection from the switch to the rest of the world...

Its times like this when I am really thankful to work in a lab environment and not an online data center :-)

Anyway, I have quietly chased patch cables in my spare time all week.  At this point I lift it up to the Almighty.  I power cycled the switch.  I can talk to the machine through the serial port, but the network appears to be hosed.  But not completely because I am talking to the serial port concentrator through the network.  Hummm...

In other news - Iron Man want to be a goalie.  I'm not sure how I feel about that.  Cold, hard rubber pucks hurling at un-Godly speeds towards Iron Man's beautiful little face...  Nope, not sure I am down with that. 

Tinker Bell practiced her cross-overs for the full half hour yesterday.  After just two lesson at the country's busiest Ice Center she looks fabulous.  I like that place.  They have a lot of work to do to undo some of the stuff she does as the result of lazy teaching, but I think she's doing really well.  She learns very quickly.

Busy weekend ahead - pumpkin carving party tomorrow, folks coming over Monday night for dinner.  Lunch with Theresa on Wednesday...

Yippy its Friday!

Thursday, October 20, 2011

The Band-Aid is Giving Me a Heart Attack

Wailed Iron Man.

It was an epic morning.

This declaration occurred while Zeus was on an early morning conference call and I was in the shower - a head full of shampoo...  I asked Iron Man to calm down and wait until I got out of the shower for me to fix the band aid situation.  See, yesterday afternoon he skid elbow-first and really did give himself a rather painful looking boo-boo.

As I rinsed away the shampoo I wondered what I had in my medical supply box in the hall that would appease my beloved 5 year old.  The Almighty must have heard and had a moment because by the time I dried off, robed-up and arrived  in the hall, there was a box of elbow and knee band aids just waiting for me.  I have no recollection of buying them or ever using them before, but the box was open, so...

I put the band aid on Iron Man and he said it felt great - like he could use his elbow again.  For what he will use that elbow, I have no idea, but hey...  The tears are gone and we got to school on time.

Band-Aids - a gift from the Almighty himself.  Thank you.

And then I arrived at work.  There were donuts.


Wednesday, October 19, 2011

Getting Past My Monkey

Years and years ago I was in Atlanta.  At a conference.  A professional trade show.  Networld+Interop.  After all, I was a networking (as in cables and switches and routers) professional.  I was there with my manager.  It was a blast.  I love Atlanta, and I love Networld+Interop.  I am no longer in the technological field of networking, though, so no more trade show for me.

Anyhow, it must have been 1995.  One of the trade booths had a fortune teller, who was dressed up like a belly dancer - this was back in the days of "booth bunnies."  She barely so much as touched my hand when she declared that I was a writer.  And she told me to get Natalie Goldberg's book.  I can't remember now if it was Writing Down the Bones, or Wild Mind.  I think it was Wild Mind.  Shortly upon returning home I purchased and read the book.  And I am reminded today that I have strayed long and far from her fabulous suggestions. 

I know in my heart, or rather, I feel it in my being that I am meant to write.  And that people will read and resonate with what I have to offer.  I have a tribe out there somewhere waiting for me.  And I need them and they need me.

But if I don't write more, we won't connect.  And that will be, on a cosmic level, a disappointment - or worse, for all of us involved.

So, as I was doing earlier, writing here almost daily - with nary a care for proofreading and what-not, I must again write.  I keep thinking that.  I occasionally write about that.  But today, a random Wednesday in October, must be the day I get past my monkey-mind, and write faster than my inner-editor can keep up with.

I love October.  I love the light.  And the feeling.  Its the hardest month for me, because in October, more than any other month of the year I long to throw away the bondage of my life and retreat to Vermont.  Just  pay cash for a little house, purchase a huge SUV and live happily ever after at the end of a country road lined with maple trees.  Just me and the family and the moose.  There are two moose per square mile in Vermont.  How can you not love the idea of a moose family living next door? 

I assure you, there are no moose in the general vicinity of my current, left leaning, lefty coastal domain. 

Friday, September 30, 2011

Be the Climate and not the Thermometer

This quote is attributed to Keith Urban by Jake Owen. Jake was interviewed on a local country radio station this morning - and yes, I have a country music station preset in my ride. Country music is fun. I like it. So sue me.

Anyway, Jake is on tour with Keith. Jake said that Keith is a very positive person. Jake had loaned some CD's to Keith, telling him that they were some of his current favorites. The next day Keith returned them and thanked Jake for sharing something that he liked. Keith pointed out that most of the time people are talking about things they hate, and therefore found it quite positive to share something Jake liked. Keith went on to point out to Jake that you can choose to be the Climate and not the Thermometer.

Obviously I really liked this bit of philosophy.

Country Music - words to live by...

Thursday, September 29, 2011

In the Swing

So it seems we are in the swing of things. We are getting to school, getting the homework done and getting to our various activities. I just try to pace myself. The washing machine died yesterday. Now I need to squeeze in a trip to the laundry mat - UGH! Picture day was last Monday. We got the pictures back yesterday. They are great! What a relief. We don't have to deal with trying to get a re-take. Yippy! At this point in time Rapunzel's teeth are too big for her delicate face, but even so, she looks like an absolute angel. Perhaps I am biased, but Lord Above is she one gorgeous girl. And Iron Man looks all grown up. I am really pleased with the shirt I had him wear. I bought the CD, so we'll put the pics out on flickr for the family. We are reading The Hobbit. As I read aloud I can't help but wonder what Iron Man sees... Its a little beyond him, but he lays next to me listening quietly, so I guess he's entertained. Rapunzel's enjoying it, too. Although I think she'd rather that I read Harry Potter. We got it from the library on Tuesday. But I will make her read that herself. Although she's in second grade her reading level is 5th grade. There may be more detail than she has patience for, but I think its good that she pushes herself. Besides, while I never got into Harry Potter, it seems that its literature-crack for kids of all ages, so I am more than willing to deal :-) A love of reading is one of the greatest gifts my father ever gave me.

Friday, September 9, 2011

Refreshed and Revived

August sure was one busy month. So much vacation! It was awesome. And awesome for my soul. I feel better prepared to take on the world. And I have some big plans. Fueled, of course, but the invigorating new music of my life - Yes, I remain completely in love with and in awe of Mark Knopfler. In the mean time, on the homefront, the children are back in school - Z. is in kindergarten now. He's doing awesome. S. is in 2nd grade and loving it. She's so smart - she makes learning look effortless. The night before last she wrote a three page story about me and my best friend, Carla. Three pages!! She's not even 7 years old! And she reads at the 5th grade level. She'll be reading at the high school level by the end of this school year. If you can read, the world is yours. Literacy is the key to all things. I've missed many a haiku Friday, but I'll get back on the wagon next week IA! My heart is happy - I hope yours is, too.

Wednesday, July 20, 2011


Seems I'm not doing it. Getting ready to visit the most wonderful place on earth next week, so... We'll see if I write more before I go or not :-)

Love ya!

Friday, July 15, 2011

Its Friday again, which means it Haiku Friday. This week the word is weeds.

Don't forget to check out Kim. She inspires me on many levels.


Its almost gone now.
In the courtyard only weeds
All our broken dreams

I work for a large, super-large, high-tech multi-national soup-to-nuts computing solutions company. Our color is not blue, although I wish it had been. I am a hardware gal, and my hardware lab is in the complex that's been sold to the billionaire stalker, who is totally re-building the place. As of today we've been denied access to the beautiful inner courtyard area of the complex. I have always personally felt that our courtyard was a somewhat magical place. Its a serene place that I loved to traverse. Its hard to be here and watch the changes someone else is making. This was our place. Now its not. And I feel like our dreams have truly been demolished with the changes made by others.

I have been quite bitter and disillusioned by the corporate circumstances of the last two years. Yes, I still have a job, but why did we get sold out? Why was our management so busy putting their hair in pony tails that they couldn't make our wonderful products sell?

Its a sad, weedy kinda day.

Monday, July 11, 2011

Romeo and Juliet

So, I have a new favorite song... actually this has been going on for about a month now. I find it beyond awesome. Its written by Mark Knopfler - you know, Dire Straits. I remember them from my childhood. I was aware of bands and music at a very tender age :-) The song is recorded by The Killers

I always loved Dire Straits, and Mark Knopfler - but I never committed to them the way I have committed to say, U2, Sting, The Police... Maybe its time to committ :-) I love this song. Its fanciful and expresses something about a quirky romanticism that's just me all over...

Here's the original

And here's The Killers

Friday, July 8, 2011

Another Haiku Friday

Its Friday again, which means it Haiku Friday. This week the word is story.

Don't forget to check out Kim. She inspires me on many levels.


I have a story
Evolving within my heart
Filled with love and stuff

I have a story
Evolving with love and stuff
My heart deeply blessed

I have a story
Evolving with love and stuff
Of my heart's blessings

I am no haiku master, but I'll try to keep trying :-) You know, I do this while I am busy working - and my work just aint all that zen-like. More like the anti-zen.

What a tough space in which to spend so much of my time. Through it all, I am smiling today - tears don't seem too close to my surface, but that could change if the boss-man decides to break his promise and harass me before Tuesday :-)

Yes, the mood is light
And my heart is floating high
A good story now

You know, its true, if I just get my fingers moving I find things in me, places in my imagination, and words that all come together and actually kinda work.

The blessings are flowing today. Maybe I can channel them into my work, which I must get back to now.

Love Crazy!

Thursday, July 7, 2011

Backed Away

I think I backed away just enough somehow. Spent most of yesterday in frustrated tears. Balance is difficult to hold on to. Why is that?

Wednesday, July 6, 2011

Burned Out

I can't imagine why it did occur to me sooner, but I'm burned out. Work has been really awful for *so* long and I haven't had a vacation in two years. Yes, I've taken time off, but that is so that I can run all over and coordinate stuff and do stuff - not just do nothing.

I need to do nothing.

Wednesday, June 29, 2011

Two Things:

1st - No, for the most part I don't proof read the posts before I hit publish. I just read yesterday's post. UGH! Makes me look like an idiot.

Note to Self: Get your act together, GIRL! Proof Read!

2nd - Went to the ladies' gathering last night for my friend's brother. Turns out there were TONS of people there. Lots of men, but they were outside. Us ladies were inside. I sat next to my friend's brother's widow. She will be 20 in two weeks. There was a short talk about death, and we all read chapters of the Quran so that collectively the entire Quran was read last night by those who gathered. I had to do it in English. These ladies did it in Arabic because that is their language.

I drew a rather long chapter, so while I read many people were talking. I listened in. I learned a lot about my friend's brother. I didn't know him, but he must have been a hell of a guy. Sweet and kind. Juliette, his widow, talked about how loving he was. He sent her flowers all the time. He texted his love constantly. She said that last year they spent her birthday in the hospital because he was so sick. They watched a movie together and giggled with each other the whole evening. She said they were each others' whole world. I have memories like that of times with Zeus - except we have enjoyed God-given good health. I cherish such memories.

I was struck by what Juliette had said. She's so young, but clearly a deep soul. I could tell from the things she said, that she truly knows love through the relationship she had with her husband. As odd as it may seem to say something like this, she has an experience most of us will never have - to be so young, to have loved so wonderfully, and to face moving on. She will be forever strengthened in a way most of us never are. And I know it, the way I know my own name, that she will have a great life where she shares much insight with those around her. She's not like most 20-year-old girls.

Now, go back and proof read!

Caught 4 typos! :-)

Tuesday, June 28, 2011

Funeral Today

The younger brother of a friend of mine succumbed to leukemia after nearly a two year battle. He was 27 years old. I'll remember him. His birthday is the day after Iron man's.

I remember people's birthdays. I don't make some huge deal, but I remember them. I remember all kinds of people's birthdays. I have remembered C's birthday every year since I met her in 4th grade.

Zeus went to the burial. They are a different flavor of Middle Eastern - actually since Zeus is South Asian he not Middle Eastern at all, but anyway... Not the same foreign language as Zeus. But his participated in the community of it and that is a great thing. I appreciate that he did this, since he really didn't actually know anybody.

Tonight I'll go spend the evening with the ladies. I know a few people who will be there, including his only sister. The sister is my friend. There will be a lot of foreign language going on, but that's okay. Sometimes all that's required is the comfort of your physical presence.

Monday, June 27, 2011

I Had Some Insight This Weekend

As I walked down the hall way in my place, from the bedroom to the kitchen, I realized something astonishing.

Zeus is an "all in" kinda guy. He's serious about emotions. Happy ones, sad ones, all the ones in between, he puts himself into them. He seems like an even-keel kinda guy, but under the surface...

Anyway, earlier in the day he was talking about relationships and how difficult they seem to be. And I could see that he goes over and over them, agonizing over them and what may be wrong with him that they are so difficult and now how he would like them to be. It really made me sad. Watching him suffer of this stuff makes me sad. I try to help - its my nature - but I really don't know what to do to help. We do talk quite a bit and I try to validate him, but that's not doing the trick.

Anyway, he'd been agonizing throughout the afternoon and I just tried to reassure him. But once we got home and started doing other stuff he seemed to lighten up.

So as I walked down the hall I realized he's just like Iron Man. When Iron Man is upset about something the best thing to do is distract him from it. I am not good at this. Zeus is masterful. Perhaps, after a certain amount of talking and validating, I need to move into the distraction phase with Zeus.

This kinda goes against my nature, but doing it anyway may be good for both of us. It may help him move out of the funk, and I'd learn not to talk things to death quite so much.

We are always growing, aren't we?

Friday, June 24, 2011

Haiku Friday

Its haiku Friday again! Today's word is dying. This is interesting, as I was musing about that while navigating the 85+101 interchange at 9:30AM, having approached it from the Northbound 85 up, over and down into the jammed abyss.

Anyhow... Dying

Handle the body
Thought it was so important
For their heart to choose

Dying decisions
To be scattered to the wind
But now, let them choose

I try to get that twist in the last line, but I think I need to keep practicing.

I like this exercise. Big thanks to Kim!

Edited to Add: Go over to her page for today's haiku because there are two great haiku's in the comments - well worth the click to savor for yourselves.

Wednesday, June 22, 2011

Books and Bookshelves

So I follow this blog. Today Angela posted this on her blog.. BTW - Angela can be found at goodreads.

Her post got me to thinking. I've been a grown up for a long time (i.e. I've had my own household for 26 years). My definition of grown up is a post for another time. When I was a child we had book shelves. And on the shelves were books. In fact, the shelves were packed with books. Not nick-nacks, books. Real books. Heavy, hard cover books. And a set of Encyclopaedia Britannica. (Yes, I had to look up the spelling, but I knew that the real work had that blended a-e thing going on! I knew I needed spelling help, though; I am proud to be aware of my short comings :-)). This paragraph is getting long, and its rambling...

I grew up around books. My father, to this day, is a voracious reader. He even got a nook about 7 months ago, that he loves so much that he got the newest one this past weekend.

Decades ago, when the folks divorced, the splitting up of books and book cases was a memorable deal. Much squabbling ensued. He got two book cases because he had more books. Our apartment in NYC, on West End Ave. in the lower 70's, during the lower 70's :-), displayed his book proudly. And it just seemed normal to me to have books all over the place. And my friend C's parents, they had books, too. Two walls covered in books in their 83rd & Riverside Drive penthouse. I just seemed normal to me.

I had books, too. And my dad put up shelves in my room. I rode the subway to school every day and I read. Every day. I loved to read. I still do. I read Gone With The Wind on the A train. My father had taught me to take a book with me where ever I go. You never know when you might be waiting around... I still do. I get twitchy if I don't have something handy to read.

When we made the Great Move from normal, natural, homey coast to granola-sunglasses coast I boxed up my books and off we went. By then we had M. She came complete with books. And records. She's a musician. By then it was the low 80's. I unpacked my books. But I was not home. They unpacked their books and displayed them in the living room. Seemed perfectly normal to me. It looked nice, actually. BTW, these books had been read, by at least one member of the household if not more.

Anyway, I flew the coop promptly upon reaching legal voting age. I don't remember how my books got packed, but I ended up with them in boxes. I moved a lot for the next 5 or so years. Taking them out as often as I had enough room for them. But alas, I have lived in my current apartment, where I've since shed several room mates, married, housed in-laws for extended stays, and brought home two fabulous babies over the course of the last 15 years, and my books are in the original boxes from the right coast and housed securely in the farthest reaches of my mom's garage (which is pretty buried considering its a "tandem" garage, where one care is parked in front of the other and the storage is behind both cars.

Anyhow... For all these years I have felt odd about my books packed away. They should be out and around me. They are the single true collection of my life. And they mean so much. I love them. Each tome I remember. I remember the story, the author, when I got the book. Where I read it, how it settled with me. And I have notes stuffed into the pages. Names, phone numbers, address, maps... My memories are in those books.

And how sad, that in 15 years I've had none of that nor have I continued in my crazy-old-lady way of keeping important little moments stuffed into the pages - some random, others with purpose.

I've rambled long enough. Books are good and people should read them and have them handy in shelves in their homes. I should have mine. But "should" is another post for another time, and perhaps a different blog.

I love my books and will liberate them.

And yes, if you know me well, I seem to have lost 6 years somewhere :-) And no, I have absolutely no idea where they might have gone. I do know this. They were blessed and great.

Twice today I have been reminded that love is the only true force. And I know its true. After all, I love like crazy, it blinds me, it motivates me, and just feels like its the only thing that really matters.

Love ya crazy! I truly do.

And speaking of love. Please give my girl Cherry some love. She's great. She's awesome. Click on over and get to know her. You'll see what I mean.

Friday, June 17, 2011

Haiku Friday - Mix

I didn't get my act together last week for Haiku Friday. I was kinda down and just couldn't quite do it.

But I am back in the saddle today! I am ready for Haiku Friday - Mix

My children are great
Beautiful Bold Strong and Kind
Both the perfect mix

Thursday, June 16, 2011

In Other News... IBM

Was born 100 years ago today. Its was a merger of 4 separate companies. One of the companies made cheese slicers :-)

Big Blue has been a big part of my life. I've never actually been employed by them personally, but my father spent something on the order of 40 years of his career there.

They paid for my braces. Thank you Mr. Watson.

I almost worked for them about a year and a half ago, but instead of being acquired by legions of folks in blue suits, my faltering establishment was snapped up by an aging billionaire playboy trying to live out his dream of being even greater than IBM; Complete.

But I digress...

IBM shaped our world in ways that most people don't even realize. They are a great company, to be studied and respected.

Riots in Vancouver

Vancouver is my favorite place in my beloved Canada. Early in the previous decade I had the great good fortune to actually live in this most wonderful of cities for about 5 weeks. I wasn't even working - which made it even more glorious, of course.

With the exception of a slightly seedy area south of downtown, Vancouver felt like one of the safest places in the world as far as I was concerned. I can't imagine Canadians trashing their own beautiful city. I understand the voracious enthusiasm for ice hockey; I am a fan of the highest order! GO SHARKS! But riots?!?! RIOTS?!?!?!

150 people requiring hospitalization and something like 100 more arrested. And 14 police officers hospitalized?!?!?!?!?!?! Incomprehensible. Unthinkable in Vancouver, BC.

If you ask me, it must have been immigrants. I don't mean to offend anyone, but I just can't imagine my beloved Canadians behaving like this.

I still love Cananda! Oh Canada!

Tuesday, June 14, 2011

Oh, Canada!

I'm coming home! I get to go to Canada! I get to go to Canada! I don't know what I did right, but the karma came through and we are going to Canada!


We are going to Quebec City! My French is pathetic, but the Canadians are so nice - they'll speak to me in English. I am sure of it!

I am just starting to plan our trip. Its a good idea to take a vacation. I haven't had a vacation in a really long time. I need a break. And where better than Canada!

Funny, though, because things are going better at work now. I have an exciting new project and everything. I guess good comes in waves.

Canada! Canada! Canada!

Falling Behind

I have fallen behind. I have two or three things I wanted to post about, but time has gotten away from me. Perhaps I'll catch up this week. A girl can dream.

Yesterday was the beginning of the summer program in which I have enrolled my children. Its high tech and high fun! I wish it was a tiny bit more structured, though. Especially for Iron Man. He needs a little help getting from one activity to another and actually getting to do them, rather than seeing that the room is too full. I paid good, hard earned cash - a *lot* - for this and I will assert myself with them tomorrow if necessary.

Sometimes you gotta be the squeaky wheel.

When we arrived yesterday afternoon to pick up Tinker Bell and Iron Man, Iron Man was walking toward the play ground with a cup of water. Tinker Bell had sent him to fetch water so that she could make better mud. These two really know how to work together, and Tink is a born delegator :-) (Seems delegator isn't a word... I'll check google and be right back... Yep, its not English - nor any other language, but I am using it anyway - y'all know what I am trying to say!)

Anyway, there was Iron Man walking down the way, so we called out to him. He turned around and immediately wailed, "I don't want to leave!"

Seems he had a good time.

Tink says its the best place ever!

I sure hope things continue this way.

Wednesday, June 8, 2011

Techno Lust

I get it bad. I don't like to read articles about technology and gadgets, but once I've actually seen a gadget in action, I'm a goner.

I am no geek, though. I dreamed of cell phones in the 80's because I wanted to be able to call my grandmother while I drove to work, because driving to work is a supreme waste of time, but if I could talk to Grammy, that's no waste of time at all. My point is, I just longed for efficiency. I still do.

So, what's my type? Small, bright and stylish little gadgets - sleek and light weight. Preferably with an Apple imprint adorning its otherwise uncluttered exterior.

Alas, an iphone isn't in the cards for me. I won't leave my cell carrier. My cell carrier rocks. I get signal all over the creation that I traverse and won't sacrifice that, not even for beauty. My materialism knows bounds.

But, and ipad2. Come to mama... A co-working brought his new baby in on Monday and we gathered around to catch a glimpse of the beauty. It was so thin I was afraid to touch it, and in fact I didn't. But I wanted to.

And I've been jonsing ever since. I gotta have one. I see the adds in the margins of some of the websites I frequent, but I just don't have the nerve to actually click through and offer up my credit card for a deal that is probably too sweet to be true, or at least good for me and my identity.

Plus, at the end of the day, I don't easily part with my money. I talk a good game, but I don't have the nerve to plunk down the cash. I've been strapped at times in my life, and Zeus lived poor most of his life, so we are pretty tightfisted. Furthermore, don't forget I am Scottish...

Tuesday, June 7, 2011

Not How I Thought It Would Go

Today didn't turn out the way I thought it would.

Today was Iron Man's Pre-K Graduation Ceremony. Caps, tassels and *adorable* t-shirts.

I was in the emergency room with my mom. She fell in the parking lot. She'll be fine, as it turns out she only needed five stitches to close the wound above her lip. Her face is badly bruised.

I am sad that I missed this graduation. His first. But Huddah had my camera and Zeus was taking video, as was Br. Moosa, so I think I'll get a chance to see how thing turned out. I'll get the pictures off my camera tomorrow.

I was advised to stay with mom over night, so Iron Man and Tinker Bell insisted on coming, too, so we are camped on the air mattress in the living room.

My heart isn't broken, but I am disappointed. But, I have faith that he'll have lots more graduations - the one I really don't want to miss is the one for his PhD. My father noted in a recent phone call that this year is the 50th anniversary of his PhD. He's a EE. He went to Penn State and the University of Michigan. Iron Man kinda looks like my dad - I sure hope he got his brains!

Tinker Bell was let out of class to attend the ceremony. I am glad that she was there. My mom was very sad that she missed the graduation, too.

This is the kind of day that really makes me want a do-over.

Monday, June 6, 2011

Tomorrow's The Big Day

Iron Man's first, of what will culminate in a couple of decades with a PhD in something that will make him (and us!) rich, graduation ceremony is tomorrow. He's really excited. So am I.

We've got t-shirts (the school said not robes), caps, tassels, pizza, cake, balloons, goody bags, a slide show. The teachers have put together a program for the children to show off what they've learned. Its going to be great.

And bittersweet. And Marvelous!

I formed a committee back in March (yes, of this year - not last!) to find out what parents would like to do and to get people going. Turns out most folks are all talk and little action, but in the end, there were enough of us to make it work out. We held a couple of bake sales and raised most of the money to pay for all this stuff. These are tough times to be asking parents to shell out more money.

We'll blow up the balloons tomorrow morning. Zeus will bring the video camera. I'll bring my camera. There will be awesomeness.

I am thankful.

Friday, June 3, 2011

Thus Ends Another Busy Week

And its Haiku Friday. I'll do that late tonight - I gotta jam outta this office, onto the freeway, off the freeway, onto the expressway, off the expressway, down the side streets and park the blue car in front of my place pretty soon so that I can throw the munchkins into their ghi's and get them off to Karate.

Notice I didn't say ghee! :-) A little Desi humor :-)

A blessed week is on the cusp of a blessed weekend. Tomorrow morning I go to the dentist to have a previously filled cavity re-worked. I've only had 3 cavities in my entire life. Oh, and one broken tooth about a year ago. Dental Fortitude. I have it.

Yep, tomorrow's post will expound my Dental Fortitude and be named thusly.

Hey, did I tell you? When I went to the dentist about a month ago she has her x-ray machine setup to take the xray and immediate display it in hi-def on a computer screen? It is super-cool. That's how she could see that she want to drill my tooth out a bit more - according to her it looks soft under the original amalgam. Hey! I spelled amalgam right on the first try!

Its a blessed Friday indeed. Time to quit while I am ahead.

I am thankful to be in a happy place in my head where I entertain myself and feel generally happy. Thank you.

Wednesday, June 1, 2011

Wednesday - Seriously?!?

Three day weekends are great, but with my job, and my dreaded boss, its just a short week in which I must do 5 days worth of work. Its almost not worth it.

But man was it a nice weekend! I have a post in the works about Saturday night. Suffice to say, it was fab.

I almost don't want to write it out loud, but work is going fairly well. Must be my new red peep toes with the 3 inch heels.

S. and Z. are excited about the end of the school year. The plans are made and the parties are just about on. Thank goodness the planning and fund raising are over. I spent a lot of time on the pre-k stuff. The caps and tassels were delivered yesterday. The kids will really look cute.

Things are just going along. Its kinda nice. Wonder how long it will last :-)

Friday, May 27, 2011

Haiku Friday - Yippy!

And today the topic is troubles. Please be sure you go check out Primary Source.


They are everywhere
Nowhere is a safe haven
Troubles permeate

A little bleak...

Troubles focus us
A shining light of living
Got perspective now?

Still working on really getting a good zinger in the last 5 syllables. I'll keep practicing.

Thank you Kim Pearson for the inspiration.

It Was a Great Title

and it would have been a great post. But I can't remember what I was thinking about in the shower :-)

The title was that of a U2 song, but I can't remember now :-)

U2, without exception, is the greatest band of all time. This has nothing to do with politics and opinions about world issues, this proclamation is about their music. I grew up with them and I love them. Their music moves me - makes me sing at the top of my lungs and makes me feel like I with an old friend. A couple of their albums didn't do much for me, but most of them are what I consider to be the most classic. Second to them, so close he/they are really kinda co-first place really, is Sting/The Police. More old friends with whom I sing the most passionately.

BTW - I know Bono comes off a bit "over the top," but he has passions and they make news and they do highten awareness. I believe he

Ah! That was it, a posting about my beliefs. In a moment or two I'll remember the title of the post...

Anyway, I believe that he is motivated by true concern and not by the opportunity to see his name in print.

Truly, though, can you image spending most of your adult life as a person who has the guts to walk into a stadium filled with tens of thousands of people and stand before them and sing. And the paparazzi... To be able to be productive under those circumstances dictates that you gotta be a little different than the rest of us. These people are brave, and when they shine their light on misfortune we do, in fact look. And most of us are inspired. Its okay that they are special. Our world needs that.

You can call me a bleeding heart liberal, its a badge of honor in my book. But I like to think that us liberals are learning to examine the misfortune *and* the realities of how our world works and try to work within the systems to bring fortune to those who so desperately need it. Liberals aren't stupid. Perhaps somewhat idealistic, but many are learning to somehow bring the cogs of the wheels together in a a way the moves the machine forward and not in a way that brings things to a deadlock.

All of us on the planet are learning. Our souls are evolving. As it should be.


Hey! Its Friday! I gotta go check on my haiku topic.

Thursday, May 26, 2011

On More Amazing Thing

My folks told me about this and its amazing. Perhaps I overuse the work amazing, but I like it. Especially today.

Be Educated. I clicked on a math example and learned a few things!

Three Amazing Things

In the last twenty four hours I have had three amazing moments.

The first moment was last night during our bedtime routine. We were all piled up on the bed reading books. Tinker Bell, just completing 1st grade, read first, then it was my turn to read the Ford 2007 Mustang Brochure. Iron Man was given this brochure by the daughter of our beloved baby sitter. It describes the various Mustang Models available that year and saucy marketing jargon. Iron Man loves cars and he thinks it great the way I ham-up the descriptions. I read it in my "tawdry Harlequin Romance" voice. Its a little abscene, which amuses Zeus! I felt very satisfied, like life was good. That felt great.

As a side note, I have decided I want a 2007 Shelby Mustang GT500KR with a glass roof. That puppy has 540 horsepower and 510 lb. - ft torque. What is torque in a car? It must be important. I want it. Iron Man gave me a hot wheels Lamborghini, but he wants me top bring it back from my office so that he can give me a Mustang. I don't speak Italian, so its okay.

The second moment was this morning at Pre-K. M. brought baby R. and baby R. wasnt' sleeping. She's three months old and I have never seen her awake! Anyway, I was late for work because I held her for about 20 minutes. Man did she feel good in my arms. I held her little chest to mine and I could feel her little beating heart. Man did she feel good.

No worries - I know my limitations. Left to my own devices I am done having babies, but you never know what the Almighty has in store. As they say in Islam, The Almighty doesn't challenge us beyond our ability to succeed, no matter how we feel about stuff.

The third moment wrenched my heart. As I drove to work I heard a man in OK as he talked about the two young sons (a baby and a 3 year old) who (or whom or that? Need English help) he lost in a Tornado in the last day or so. He chocked up and cried as he talked. And I cried as I zoomed down the expressway. I can't imagine his pain. Today I will remember him as often as possible and breath peace for his heart, which will actually never heal.

I am really feeling things today.

God be with that father, and all those who have lost loved ones and friends to natural disaster lately. I hope that those of us further from loss will expand peace for these people to grieve.

Wednesday, May 25, 2011

Frantic Planning and Musing on Technology

Pre-K graduation prep is in full swing and there's much to be done, so I am super busy. And last night I passed out reading the children bedtime stories.

Also, we are IM'ing in the office. Its insane and a real time suck if you ask me. I don't IM. I text with my pal E., but other than that, this whole "real time" stuff is intrusive. I'll bet this is how people felt about telephone a hundred years ago.

Funny how technology averse I am. I work with bleeding edge technology. I test the hardware that makes all this bleeding edge stuff hemorage. I work with it before anyone else - in fact.

But at the end of the day I need be no more plugged in than a cell phone. Yeah, I like to surf the web with my smart phone, and use it to keep up with my e-mail, but its not like it publishes my presence, whereabouts, and immediate thoughts.

I'm an old fashioned girl.

Monday, May 23, 2011

It Was All a Blur

What a busy weekend! Its left me feeling quite behind the 8-ball, but somehow or another I will catch up. Don't have much choice.

I indulged in a full on pity party earlier today, and I guess that was a good idea. I pulled myself back together and I am actually getting some good stuff done this afternoon. I was really upset, though, this morning.

There are days that just start out tough, but then they get better. Thank goodness.

And then they get really great. I spent the evening being pampered while I watched Despicable Me. I've seen it. In the theater - which is a big deal for me. Since I gave birth to Tinker Bell I have been to the movies maybe three times. And one of those times I was foiled by the theater closing early - No Julie and Julia for me! (No, I know how close to a Seinfeld quote that is, but I won't go there - I never liked that show! Sorry Jerry.)

Yes, today got better and better. My dreaded boss complimented me, by e-mail, i.e. he put it in writing! And it was an enthusiastic compliment. Truly, today I was carried on the shoulders of invisible angles who effortlessly conjured a better and better day for me with each passing hour.

Or I am bi-polar.

And I worry about that.

But for now, I am so much better than I was this morning. I am thankful beyond words.

Thank you God and my dear, dear angles.

Friday, May 20, 2011

Another Haiku Friday - Grace

Its Haiku Friday and the given word is Grace.

I'll chew on this while I work this morning. Gotta install some DIMMs and move a very heavy machine into one of my rows of mid-range heavy machines. Physically busy day for me today.


Makes me think of the serenity prayer...

God grant me the grace
To keep up this crazy pace.
Yippy! its Friday!

Hey - not to shabby for something off the cuff. Now into the lab with me!

Thursday, May 19, 2011

Net Result

Ha! I guess my title is a pun today :-)

We sold it all. And we made some serious $$! Looks like we have what we need to fund all our festivities. Needless to say, I am relieved.

So the dreaded boss walked into my office this AM with a smile on his face. I knew immediately he was about to shovel something off on me. Turns out he wants me to train one of my co-workers. I am looking forward to this opportunity, actually. The co-worker is actually senior to me, and has a solid frame of reference. All I will really need to do is help him navigate a different area of testing with slightly different tools than he is currently using. He'll leap over me in less than an hour most likely :-) He's a nice person.

Today feels good. I like that.

I am keeping a close eye on Tinker Bell and Iron Man. In different ways they are both very sensitive. I hope I can help them develop sharp coping skills that will protect their sensitivity. That will be a good trick.

Turns out, this is National Mental Health Month. And yesterday was The Blog Party because it was Mental Health Day.

I've had correspondence with the mom of one of Tinker Bell's friends. And yesterday, as a result of something she shared, I felt compelled to research Mental Health advocacy. Seems there's a huge community out there. A community I want to explore further.

Now, there are folks out there who will flatly say that I am unstable. My emotion grip me at times. But I like to think I am getting a handle on that. Besides, Mental Health is not just getting a grip. Mental illness is as chemically, physically real as cancer. And, unfortunately, just as debilitating - maybe even more so because people are far less inclined to identify failing mental health and pursue treatment. Furthermore, there's such stigma.

I have felt that stigma my whole life. I have lived with it. Being embarrassed and circumspect about my mother.

I have so much more to say about this. And truly, what could be more important?

Wednesday, May 18, 2011

Blogging Live

I guess maybe I should actually be tweeting from the bake sale, but I don't tweet. I've been considering it, though.

But rest assured, it will be a cold, cold day in Hades wherein people will require Everest-grade Patogonia long underwear before I Facebook. It will never happen. If you ever think you've found me to friend on Facebook, you can be sure you are friending an imposter and not the actual me.

I digressed... please forgive me. BTW - Facebook is moving into my campus. They bought it. They are hacking apart lovely buildings with offices so as to create cubicle farms. Sad, sad, sad...

Its the quiet time between lunch and after school. I am using the school wireless for access and I am waiting until the parents come, hopefully with lots of $$, to buy the rest of our baked goods.

So far things have gone well. My mom came to help, as did Grandma M and K. Thank goodness they were able to help - otherwise it would be too much to do myself. We've got all kinds of yummy baked goods. Kids really like doughnuts. I sure hope we sell this stuff off - otherwise I won't know what to do with it. Maybe sell more tomorrow. But I would need someone else to be here to do it, I can only take off so much time.

Anyway, we may fall a little short of our goal, but that will mean that the parents need to chip in for all these graduation festivities they want. Suits me :-)

Baking My Heart Out

Just completed making two dozen cup cakes and 50 cake pops. The cake pops are really gorgeous this time. They turned out much better than the ones I made a couple of weeks ago. Seems I am getting the hang of it.

I haven't gone to Costco when it hasn't been raining in months. And sure enough, in the middle of May, we are having an arctic cold front and it was pouring when I went to Costco this evening. And my back hurt. I couldn't load the 3-bottle Bleach box onto my cart, a nice fellow stepped in to help me as he saw me struggling. I just couldn't get that darn box onto the rack below the basket. I felt old.

In other news, I sure am glad its tomorrow, because today was a little rough. Tomorrow will be better.

Yep, I guess I really didn't have anything to say...

Monday, May 16, 2011

Mental Health Issues

Mental health issues are near and dear to my heart. I have lived my entire life in the shadow of clinical depression. My mother has suffered her entire life. My grandmother would talk about what a happy young girl my mother was, but from what I have learned from my aunt, mom's older sister, my mother clearly was depressed by the time she reached high school. By the time my mother was about 30 she had a small child, me, and had tried to end her life. My father bailed.

Even as a small child I understood that my mom was ill. I also understood it was an illness no one talked about. I was embarrassed by what she'd tried to do. I didn't feel like it was my fault, but I did feel like I was the only person in the world who could stop her from trying to end her life again.

As a child I would sit up in the wee hours of the morning playing solitaire while my mother screamed about how awful her life was. I sat right there, in front of her to be sure that she didn't go into the kitchen and grab a knife.

This post is about hearing about the Peter C. Alderman Foundation on the radio this evening. They work in developing nations helping people with mental health and PTSD. Mr. Alderman talked about the stigma of mental health, and although he applied it to a different experience, I am so grateful that their foundation brings awareness, which is invaluable.


Friday, May 13, 2011

Blogger is Back - In Time for Haiku Friday

I was a little twitchy yesterday given that Blogger was unavailable. I sure am glad its back in time for Haiku Friday. Today's subject: tulips

Mary loves Tulips
Fresh from the store Dad brought them
I meant to plant some

I had nothing yesterday. So I stayed home. I dug out my desk. And only did 2 loads of laundry. I cooked a chicken. I did nothing. It was good. I have more today.

The kids had skating yesterday. They are both doing well. Iron Man is really coordinated. Tinker Bell gives it what she's got and I think she likes it better than any of her other activities. Its less demanding than karate - which is good for her coordination and concentration.

Tuesday, May 10, 2011

Compound Words: Jack + _______ = jack___

Tinker Bell is learning about compound words. Her homework last night included a rather lengthy list of "prefixes" to which she must add the second word to create a compound word. I am sure you know where I am going with this... Especially if you know me and some of my drunken-sailor speech patterns :-)

As I watered the roses out front, Tink worked on her homework in the kitchen. When she could not immediately think of a word to use to create a compound word, she would call out to me, "Mama, what goes with..."

After a few minutes she called out, "Mama, what goes with jack?"

I could come up with nothing else but a$$. Fortunately I didn't blurt it out. But truly, I was stumped.

I gave myself a really good laugh. It was a very peasant evening.

Friday, May 6, 2011

Haiku Friday Week Three For Me

That's right my dear readers, its Friday again which means its Haiku Friday: Pink. Please be sure to check out Kim Pearson, founder of Haiku Friday.

Today, as you see above, the subject is Pink:

When born she was pink
As she grew she loved it so
My dear Tink is Pink

Okay, so that one isn't a literary masterpiece, but its about Masha Allah gorgeous Tinker Bell.

Let me try again...

Didn't get this posted. Didn't get to try again - in fact didn't get to my computer until late this evening(Sunday). Things were even busier than usual. And I didn't even do any laundry, which I'll pay for *all* week. But the family tript to the dentist was successful. Iron Man may or may not have some sort of "cross bite," but there's nothing to do about it either way. Tink's jaw is much smaller than her teeth, so she's going to look goofy for a couple of years - great! But no cavities. Even Zeus escaped without much fuss... I need to have an old filling repaired. If I am not mistaken its the first one I ever had, so its roughly twenty two years old.

Have fun with the math on figuring out how old I may be :-) I don't think I've "dated" myself here before, so you may not have enough data. Maybe I'll offer up a tid bit in one of my posts this week.

Fran and Neva came over for bruch today. It was great. We had a great time. My souffle was superb - it rose to the skies! Got the recipe from Martha. Convicted felon or not, girlfriend can cook and write easy to follow recipes. If you want to cook something and she has a recipe, you are in good hands. Insider trading has nothing to do with cooking.

Good Night All...

Thursday, May 5, 2011

Google Is My Friend

And without it, I would be sunk. But because of it, I spend entirely too long reading about stuff I would otherwise have only found on a trip to the library, because that is where people used to go to find stuff out before there was Google.

Furthermore, I tend to more or less believe what I read in the articles I find on Google. I forget that these folks aren't fully, properly vetted and their information isn't painstakingly fact-checked. Whereas, if its in Encyclopaedia Britanica (excuse me for a moment while I Google the word encyclopaedia to be sure I spelled it correctly because I don't trust the spell checker in this little window. Hey! I spelled it right on the first try! This is huge for me.)

Anyway, if I couldn't Google every time I needed to figure out how to do what I do for a living, I wouldn't have this terrible job that I don't actually know how to do.

Google is my friend.

We went shoe shopping this evening. Zeus has decided that I am pretty, and I must dress pretty. At all times. For myself, I don't much care. Jeans and t-shirts are fine. But Zeus says I am wasting myself. So I chose some new shoes. Actually, he chose them. Its kinda like my glasses (which I actually don't wear any more because I finally found contacts that are super comfortable, but I digress), I figure he's the one that has to look at me, so I might as well choose something he likes. Same with the shoes.

After we settled on the shoes, which was easy actually, I wondered over to the display of what I can only describe as street-walker shoes. They are platform shoes with 4 inch heals. Most of the displays were size 7, but there was a pair that were a little larger (TIM - I have long, narrow feet - not always easy to find shoes, actually!), so I threw them down on the floor and wiggled my larger food (my right foot is a complete half size bigger than my left) into the shoe. It actually was amazingly comfortable. So then I put the other one on. Zeus saw what I was up to. He said he liked them and that I should buy them.

I am going to a wedding at the end of the month and I will debut my street-walker shoes then. No one will care what I am wearing, they will be stunned into admiration when they see me in those shoes.

Maybe I'll take a picture of them and throw it out on flickr. The only problem with that is then you get all the sicko-stalkers.

This is the second day in a row that I've digressed into a discussion about stalking. And, WOW! have I digressed from discussing my dear friend Google.

Tomorrow will be haiku Friday. Yippy! Maybe I'll also use tomorrow as a round up of all the stuff I said I would post on and then didn't - or at least didn't do justice to. (Yes, I know. Don't end a sentence with a preposition. But I did. I can. I am letting it stand. This is my blog.)

Wednesday, May 4, 2011

Three Rules

Our little community school only has three rules:

1. Make Good Decisions
2. Show Respect
3. Solve the Problem

Even the littlest Pre-K children know them by heart by the end of the first day of school.

These rules work. For everything. They work.

Today Iron Man talked back to his most beloved teacher, Teacher N. She was very upset with him and made him sit on the thinking chair. He had not shown respect. That was not a good decision. And now he has a problem.

Teacher N. is more than just a teacher. She taught Tinker Bell for two years and she's the extended care teacher. My children, because of my wretched and horrible job, must attend extended care. Also, Teacher N. has taken my children into her home during winter and spring breaks, again because I have to work. She is wonderful to us.

Its hard to be upset with Iron Man. He's a cute, gentle, sweet, loving boy. He's also sensitive. But this evening when I learned what he did, I was sad. And he knows it.

We talked at length about the fact that he's put himself in a very bad situation. He owes her an apology to solve this problem. We bought him new shoes yesterday. We made him take them off and give them to us. Tomorrow we'll talk to Teacher N. and the deal is that Iron Man can have his new shoes back when Teacher N. is satisfied that he can behave properly - no thinking chair for at least a week.

Our school also contracts with Soul Shoppe. Its a marvelous system of conflict resolution that teaches children to think about how they feel and to appropriately work through conflict, show empathy, and come to reasonable resolutions.

I really an getting a good deal for my money with our little school. It is a place of many blessings.

Tuesday, May 3, 2011

Cake Pops

Bright red cake pops. I made 50 of them last night. Red velvet cake with cream cheese frosting encased in bright red candy coating. They sold like hot cakes at the bake sale.

On a more somber note... Today's bake sale was to raise money to help a woman in our community who can't afford her cancer treatments. She is a legal immigrant and doesn't qualify for aide. Don't get my started on my views of who is worthy and who isn't with respect to state/federal aid.

The cream cheese frosting was an experiment. It didn't turn out well enough to stand on its own, but to mix into the cake and make balls out of it was scrumptious.

Hey, there's a yummy word... scrumptious. I even spelled it right the first time. I can't spell. I just can't and I am too old to learn. As I often remind my immigrant husband, "Dear, you can spell English because you actually studied the language. I, on the other hand, was born speaking English and educated in California. Its a wonder I have even a rudimentary grasp of grammar!"

And there you have a feel for some more of my rather ardent opinions regarding matters of state.

I learned about Cake Pops from The Pioneer Woman. BTW - if you haven't checked her out, you are missing out on my favorite portal to the world. In short, Ree ROCKS! I wish I was her (but not in a scarey, stockerish kind of way or anything...) Anyway, Ree got the cake pops from Bakerella, who also completely ROCKS! And if I woke up and realized I was her, I'd be okay in a grand way!

Monday, May 2, 2011

Wailing and Cake Pops

They actually are related.

Tinker Bell informed us this evening that her best friend, Y. and Y's younger brother, Also-Y., will attend the rival school next year. Tink is taking it pretty well, but Iron Man immediately started to wail.

He sobbed those heavy sobs of someone who can't understand that the physical pain they feel in the region of their heart is from emotion that he can't even articulate. He sobbed for half an hour. I held him and his wet eyes searched mine trying to find the answers. I felt like crying too.

It reminded me of the afternoon my mother informed me of the divorce. She was crying, and then I was crying and she couldn't help me. She couldn't help me, though, as she truly couldn't cope herself. Turns out she's battled clinical depression her entire life and is the person for whom prozac was invented. Prozac saved her life; that and two really amazing psychiatrists. But I digress...

I held it together and held him close and rocked with him. After a while Zeus was able to distract him by talking about other things. I am yin to his yang; I am with the feelings, feeling them. R. is all about moving right past them just as fast as he can and getting to a more comfortable place. I love that about him. I think its what saved me at times when I could have drowned in my own feelings.

But I digress again...

We'll get through this change. New people will fill in the spaces. I'll take up the mantle of responsibility to ensure that my kids stay close with those kids. They really are great kids. They are smart and kind and come from a really great family.

Maybe tomorrow I'll tell you about the Cake Pops. Its what I am doing tonight between intervals of installing logical domains using prototype EVERYTHING! UGH!

Cake Pops... You are going to love 'em.

Sunday, May 1, 2011

If I Had Known

If I had known that buying new towels for Tinkerbell and Iron Man would motivate them to actually *want* to bath, I would have bought new towels months ago.

Needless to say, they aren't enthusiastic about bath time. But today it meant they could use their brand new towels from Pottery Barn Kids!

I am no spend-thrift. I would never, in my wildest dreams, decide that Pottery Barn Kids is a good place to buy anything - actually I wouldn't say that about Pottery Barn either. Yeah, their stuff is gorgeous, but at the prices they charge, I could buy out most of the home and kitchen section of my fancy new gigantic Target half a mile from my house! I'd have so much stuff I'd need another apartment just to store it all.

But, we've had there gift cards to the place, so... when school started last year we took the gift cards to the store and got the kids fancy backpacks and matching lunch boxes. They were gorgeous. But after 3 weeks they were falling apart. We returned them. So now we are going with the towels. I will wash them several times in the next couple of weeks to ensure that their craftsmanship is not so shoddy, because if it is I will return them.

Speaking of shoddy... Did I tell you what happened to my tea pot the other day? No? You gotta hear this...

So we had two really nice, large tea pots...

You know what? Its getting late. I'll tell you about the tea pots tomorrow. I gotta go to bed. The thing about Sunday night is I get this second wind around 4PM on Sunday afternoons and I just can't wind down and wrap things up at a decent hour.

More tomorrow...

Friday, April 29, 2011

Haiku Friday - Yippy!

Ivory satin
Covered buttons down her back
She too a princess

My thoughts on Pippa Middleton

I wrote the above haiku early this morning, as I was inspired by the beautiful pictures of the Royal Wedding and how lovely Pippa looked.

But here's my haiku using Kim Pearson's topic for this haiku Friday: Fresh

A smile fresh and bright
And a heart quite full of love
She is married now

I am still inspired by the Royal events.

Another All Nighter

This week has been busy. Lots to do for *all* the bosses in my life. Seems I have been up until 2AM every night this week (which is pretty much an all-nighter for me).

I never was one to pull all nighters. They render me useless for the following day. But with so many bosses in my life that I dare not disappoint, I seem to have mustered (hey, is the past tense of muster mustered - just like dijon or Grey Poupon?! HA!) some sort of inner umph to keep myself going through the days.

You should bet big money that by tomorrow night I won't have the energy or the inclination to so much as call for pizza - let alone ensure that the home-bosses consume it.

Yep. I am tired. But tomorrow is haiku Friday. It will be my second. I am looking forward to it. I guess its actually today, but not just yet :-) Wonder if it will be inspired by things Royal.

Wednesday, April 27, 2011

She Who Presents

My life has taken on a interesting activity in the last six months. It all started in October when my ever-loathed boss declared that I must prove I and learning and that I know stuff; work stuff. At the time, the only thing besides taking a test that I could think of to prove my knowledge was to make presentations and spout my wisdom. After some grumbling he agreed - truth is he had no idea how to accomplish this feat either.

Anyway, in the past 6 months I've done close to 10 presentations, if you count the two that I vastly revised.

And now, in the wee hours of the night - nearly the morn - and it will be morn before I finish everything I need to finish tonight... I am again scouring the intenet gathering data for a presentation due to tomorrow morning.

But this presentation has me wishing I could spend the rest of my life in this world... Its a presentation about my ancestral homeland. Scotland.

That's right, reader, I am of Scottish heritage. I am special. The sound of bag pipes stir my soul and take me back centuries to highland country and prickly wool tartans. Its in my blood. And I can see the country when I close my eyes. I can feel the cold wind.

Its International Week (two weeks really, but hey...) in the Pre-k world of my dear young Iron Man. He's been around the world; China, Turkey, Egypt, Cameroon, Pakistan, India, Yemen. Mostly the Middle East :-) Well, I decided I would represent an ancient "western" culture.

Truth is I am a mutt... Western European heritage. Dutch fisherman, French Huguenots, German carpenters, and Scottish coal miners. In the tradition of the Scottish, I am named after my father's grandmother - who my father adored. She was brought to this country, to Pennsylvania, right around the time of the civil war. She had one sister and 5 brothers.

Anyway... I decided the best way to show the children something outside their Middle Eastern comfort zone would be through pictures, music and food! So I am putting together a slide show of ancient castles, mountains, lochs and valleys. I hunted down some free bagpipe mp3s and the shortbread cookies are packed up. We are going to have a great time.

But even more, I am reminded of my love for this place I've never been.

I want to write. I keep saying that. And lately all the pieces are coming together. From having the energy and making the time, to finding someone who has shown me enough of the process she uses which feels like a process I could use, to the images, music and food that stirs my soul.

It should be noted that french fries and canned spinach would stir my soul - I've put myself on a super strick diet and I miss eating yummy stuff to my heart's content. But that is another post for another time.

So presentation 11 is tomorrow morning at 9 sharp, as soon as circle time starts. I am looking forward to my young audience. I hope they will be gentle in their critique. If they aren't, I'll whip out the cookies early :-) Maybe I should have been baking for the ever-loathed boss...

She who bakes... I like it. Maybe an old fashioned stone and wood fire oven in a drafting castle high on a hill overlooking the North Sea...

Tuesday, April 26, 2011

Quiet Days are a Blessing

Today was a quiet day. I went to my quiet office and I was alone in the building all day. I thought about stuff.

The evening was quiet too. My house is clean, dinner was easy. I took a walk after dinner. I've been working now for the last three hours. Its been quite.

I work best at home at my desk at night.

I took pictures today. Tinkerbell needs some teeth to grow in!

Friday, April 22, 2011

A Kaiku A Day - Haiku Friday

I came across a blog post today (and oh, what a fun journey it was!) that said that today is Haiku Friday. I decided to play along...

A grand place of work
Calculators and printers
Invention nurtured

I just love this idea! It made me think about words, and about how I feel. Doing the exercise made me feel happy.

And the journey there, as I mentioned above was fun, too. I have a bunch of stuff in my RSS reader feed, and from one of the posts I found a web site, and at that site I found another article that tickled me, so I linked to her website and I found Primary Sources. I clicked through to the blog section and, well... the rest is history. The site seems to be the kind of resource I love to read about - writing!

Now, if I don't get back to the doldrums of my work-list, I won't be too happy much longer :-)

Thursday, April 21, 2011

Well Done

So many things have turned out differently than I could have ever imagined. R. often reminds me of a time, nearly 20 years ago when I was concerned that if I married him I'd never go on a vacation or travel. Needless to say, we've traveled the globe together and savored every minute of it.

But that's not where I was going with this post when I started it...

Tea. Chai. I never gave a hoot about it until I met R. And boy did he give a hoot. Still does. And I have learned... According to R. there's no one in the world, not even his mother or his aunt, who can make a cup of tea as satisfying as mine.

And I give a hoot now. A very serious hoot. I seek out the best tea, boil the water and let it rest. I haven't made tea with a tea bag in at least 18 years. I know exactly how much half and half to add to his tea. Its always the perfect dark caramel colour. And its always hot.

I make good tea because it makes him happy. A good cup of tea usually settles any differences we may have.

It all comes down to tea.

Tuesday, April 19, 2011

I Had it All Ready to Go

But then I fell asleep. The night sorta soured around 8:30 anyway, so...

I am hoping for better tonight :-)

Monday, April 18, 2011


And shaking this afternoon up here on the SF bay!

Remind me to tell you about the melt down last Friday... Suffice to say, I was anything but a hack'n goddess... But having fought my way out of fibre madness I again feel goddess-like. All's well that ends well and maybe that's all I need to say. I can leave out the part where my head exploded and I wound up on the floor in a heap of frustrated tears. Not one of my finer moments.

But when I got home my kids still loved me.

Thursday, April 14, 2011

Was It Lunch or a Vacation

Today we lunched with the mother of one of S.'s friends from her swimming class. The daughter, actually, is also an S.

That reminds me...

Yesterday evening at Trader Joe's we ended up in the line of a new checker-girl. And man was she pretty. I mean, the word gorgeous doesn't do her justice. Tall, slender, long black hair, plump happy lips and and easy, happy smile. And crystal blue eyes. And she was sincerely sweet.

Anyway, Mr. 20-something ahead of us in line gave it his best shot. Turns out he's new in town - been here just three weeks. Came from Maryland. He's in IT. I thought he said he was working for Johnson and Johnson, but I must have heard wrong - around these parts it must have been Johnson controls.

He was a cutie. Not too tall, in great shape, well cut blond hair. I had this feeling he was fresh out of the military. Clean cut. Looked great in his red t-shirt. No visible ink.

Yep, he gave it his best shot, but I think Gorgeous is spoken-for. Too bad. They would have made beautiful babies...

But I digress...

We had lunch today with the Mom. Turns out she and I and R. all work for the same super-huge high tech conglomerate - made muchly more huge because her conglomerate ate up ours about a year ago. She was so much fun to talk to. She was comfortable to be around. And we had great food for lunch, too. Left me feeling so high, I thought I'd just spent a week on a tropical island somewhere.

I love to feel like that.

I'm not usually that comfortable with people.

Loved her story about how she met and married her husband. Met him at a trade show in Nice, Fr. Then again 6 months later at a trade show in Chicago. One year and one very serious re-location later and they walked down the aisle. Their first date included dinner in an aquarium - how romantic would that be?!?!?

I am thankful for how good I feel today.

Wednesday, April 13, 2011

I Reached The Summit

Only to see that there's more ahead. But truly the heat is from the shining sun.

So we did what we do best - we celebrated with ice cream!

This was a remarkable day.

Monday, April 11, 2011

Baffled... Completely

S. will be 7 this year. Seven. S.E.V.E.N. Granted its 8 months away, but still. How can this be?

I spent the weekend holed-up writing technical presentations and editing R's IETF trip report. The trip report took me forever because it was fascinating - all this future of networking and the internet. Editing that report was more a private geek-fest for me. My own technical reports/presentations are much more challenging for me mostly because they are so boring. And they are boring because they are about storage. I hate storage. Its dull. Its complicated in a way where my tiny mind looses track of stuff fast. Networking, on the other hand, is all just a path from one place to another - anywhere, anyhow. Also, its what I got my degree in. How I ended up in storage is beyond me, but I digress... I literally didn't leave my property all weekend. I was up until the wee hours geeking (just like I am tonight! HA!)

The point is, S. came and stood by me for a while and I looked over at her and I just could not believe I have children. I could not believe that she is mine. I can't believe how she has grown. I sat in this same chair, at this same desk (my grandmother's actually) and held her as a tiny baby.

I still can't believe I have kids. I am still a child myself. Sometimes I wonder what people see when they look at me. What do I look like? Does anyone look twice?

Saturday, April 9, 2011

Just This Close

Today I devote the entire day, (and yes, that would be a complete 24 hours!) to completing the least two purgatory projects I have been tasked with at work. They will be completed by this weekend and then my life will change. The chains will fall away and I will be free.

Yes, there are always more things, but after six months of working my tushy off I will turn a corner on Wednesday with these projects.

And in my heart, as unhappy as I have been, God has sustained hope for a better situation. He has held my heart when I thought I'd rip it from my own chest. And although I have much work to do, I will complete these two tasks with a joyous heart and start anew.

Faith sustains like nothing else. Without it you are lost and alone.

I want this for my children. I want it for my marriage. I want it for.

So today, as I begin the last push, I can feel the Almighty's hands on my back, holding me up to see the top of the world just ahead. His hands are large and strong and cover my entire back. His palms at my should blades, solid and unwavering.

I am blessed by Him and this day he has given me.

Thank you.

Wednesday, April 6, 2011

Reading and The Library

This most certainly has been library week. We went on Monday, got a load of books and have been reading them like crazy ever since. S. reads to us as I comb out her hair. Then I read something from among Z.'s selections.

We completed the Iron Man history book last night. Seems the movies simplified stuff, and took some serious liberties, too. Turns out Pepper and Happy are married in comic-book life, but in the movie Pepper and Tony quite obviously are destined for each other from the very start of the first movie.

And the plot twists! These people seriously took their cues from the soap opera world. Alliances form, crumble and re-form... Its soap opera on steroids!

Went on the quickie field trip with pre-k to the library today. We had a great time. Stories were read, shelves were disheveled. Pure bliss...

Pure Bliss...

Tuesday, April 5, 2011

Library Nights

Off we went to the library last night after dinner. We chose a huge bag load of books and brought them home to read. We didn't get too far last night, so we'll pick up where we left off tonight after karate.

Life is good.

Saturday, April 2, 2011

From Frankfurt to Pride

They canceled R.'s flight. Saturday night in Frankfurt instead of home. The little ones took the news pretty well, though.

S. read Greg Mortenson's Listen To The Wind out loud to me while I ate my dinner this evening. She can read anything! Anything! Its amazing and wonderful. Z. hung out and listened, too.

Z. put together the Batman Trio structure thingy that Munnoo had me buy for him. The kit came with all the pieces and Ikea-like instructions as to how to put the thing together. Homeboy, like his beloved and cherished mother, appears to have been born to assemble massive creations simply by interpreting wordless pictures. This Trio stuff must be Swedish. Amen.

Truly, though, he carefully considered each picture, chose the pieces required and referred back as he put each piece in its place. The pieces don't always fit nicely, so once he knew where he wanted them he'd ask me to help secure things.

47 Instructions and 1.25 hours later and the fortress was assembled and ready for play time. Awesome. Awesome! AWESOME.

I am one proud Mama.

Friday, April 1, 2011

I gotta Crow

So my kids do the karate thing. We are pretty serious about it actually.

Z. does a good job, especially when you consider he's younger than everyone else by at least 1.5 years, and he started about 2 years younger than kids normally start. He's pretty good, actually.

Today he was amazing. Koncho, his teacher, believes that push-ups are the best exercise ever. And you should see Koncho do push-ups. He's got one foot crossed over the other, the foot on the floor is up high on his big toe. He's got his index and middle fingers on the floor holding him up. He only bends at the elbows, touches his nose - and only his nose - to the ground. He does them fast. He talks while he does them. Each and every push-up is perfect each and every time. Truly, it is a sight to behold.

Z.'s push-ups aren't quite as impressive as Koncho's - yet. But you oughtta see him! he gets his little body down there and only bends his elbows - no Mount Everest Butt!

Well, this evening during the advanced class Koncho was not too happy with one of the kids. The young man really wasn't doing well. Koncho told the kid to give him 20 push-ups. The kid got down and his efforts were, at best, weak.

Koncho saw Z. in the back of the room and called for him to come forward. He asked Z. to get down and do some push-ups. Z. did as he was asked. And he performed flawlessly!

Then Koncho asked the kid and Z. to come to the front of the room, face each other and go head to head doing push-ups.

Z. smoked that kid right out of the water! Everyone clapped. It was really cute because Z. was pleased with himself, but he didn't get the subtlety of the situation and how he'd effectively humiliated the kid. He simply looked pleased with himself in a genuine, innocent way.

As his mother I beamed. Everyone else in the room was proud of Z. Koncho has the older students mentor the younger ones and many of the students have worked with Z. Its kinda got a family atmosphere.

I do feel sad for the other kid, though. He must have been hurting. The other kid is 7 years older than Z.

I called R. in Prague to tell him this story. He was pleased.

I Broke A Nail Today

But it was worth it. I got the information I needed and I am ready to start working on a big new thing that I gotta do fast.

Sacrificing a nail was soooo worth it!

Thursday, March 31, 2011

Just Plain Creepy

This night has finally arrived. The much anticipated 10 hour visit is upon us! My BIL is on a layover on his way to Tokyo. The kids are over the moon happy to see him. We had a great time just chatting. He's a good-hearted soul.

But... We drove up to the airport and out to the Cell Phone Parking area. As I drove through the lot I saw a large white van that appeared to be re-inforced such that no one would be able to get out of the windows. And printed on the side of the van was:

Prisoner Extradition Van. Stay Back.

I locked the doors to my car immediately! I could see through the mesh that there were people in the van wearing orange jump suites. S wanted to know why I locked the doors and why I would not let her unbuckle her seat belt.

I told her the truth, "If one of those prisoners gets loose, I want to be ready to run him over with my car if he starts looking in our direction."

And I meant it.

I was really happy when the van pulled away.

Cell Phone Parking Lot... What an odd name if you really think about it. And what a creepy place.

Friday, March 11, 2011

I hugged Them Tighter

Last night I laid down to sleep just a little before 11PM. I turned the radio on to catch the news before going to sleep. As I listened I realized something awful had happened. I jumped out of bed and grabbed my computer. I immediately got up to speed as the events of the earthquake and tsunami in Japan. My sister-in-law is in Tokyo because her mother is in the midst of open heart surgery (she had a valve repaired about 2 weeks ago, and yesterday needed to have a pace maker installed). I was very concerned.

I called my brother-in-law in New York to wake him and tell him. I emailed my SIL, her sister and her Brother-in-law. After 20 minutes I heard from my brother-in-law-in-law (!) that he was in a meeting in Yokohama when the quake hit. He'd not yet heard from his wife or our sister in law. This morning My BIL e-mailed that he heard from his wife and that all are well and safe.

I am so sorry for the thousands of people and their families who are not so fortunate today. I can't imagine the suffering and loss.

I held my children tighter last night and again this morning.

Wednesday, March 9, 2011

Ami (Pronounced Ahmee)

Seems I have a new name. Ami. That's Urdu (i.e. Pakistani) for Mommy. From out of nowhere Z. has started calling me this. Its okay. My MIL will always be "Ami" as far as I am concerned, but since she baled, I guess I'll take over the name. He sounds so cute, "Ami, I love you!"

S. hasn't caught on to this, but that's okay with me.

As my dad always says, call me what you want, but don't call me late for dinner :-)

When I have work stuff, home stuff suffers. I get all twisted up inside and it shows at home. I hate that. I wish I had a job I loved. A job where I thrived. I don't thrive here. I don't thrive around these people. Too much pressure. Too many agendas. Too much game-playing.

I suppose I should do something about it, but the effort would be monumental. And I probably couldn't find a job where I am so well-paid. That would be a real problem.

Enough wallowing.

I'll have a lovely, blessed day and pray that you do, too.

Wednesday, February 23, 2011

Hugs and Elbows

S. is all about hugs. Physical contact. Elbows. Z. is the "I love you" guy, but S. needs that physical contact. From the time she was a small baby she loved elbows - especially my elbows. Sometimes I would have to tell her that my elbows were raw - she would repeat it in her little toddler voice, "Mommy's elbows are wah!"

And she still goes straight for my elbows every chance she gets. My elbows have grown tough and I love the feel of her warm little fingers on my skin.

She is awesome packaged up as a little girl!

Thursday, February 17, 2011

The Tooth Fairy's Been Busy

Really Busy with S. lately. The day before yesterday, as we prep'd for school S.'s left front tooth was super loose. (She has already lost the right front tooth.) I ran out of the bathroom and told her to extract it herself. You see, I can take all forms of childish goo - I don't mind the blood, the barf, the poop... But I can't take loose teeth. They gross me out.

Gross. Me. Out!

So finally, the tooth fell out. She did a great job of extracting it and we put it in a Ziplock bag. We forgot to put it under the pillow that night, so I told S. that the tooth fairy woke me up to complain :-) So we put it under her pillow last night. She forgot to check this morning.

I'll remind her tonight. The tooth fairy is very busy and can't make three trips just to complete one payoff. She really chewed me out about it last night.

Nothing like a tongue lashing for the Tooth Fairy...