Monday, April 11, 2011

Baffled... Completely

S. will be 7 this year. Seven. S.E.V.E.N. Granted its 8 months away, but still. How can this be?

I spent the weekend holed-up writing technical presentations and editing R's IETF trip report. The trip report took me forever because it was fascinating - all this future of networking and the internet. Editing that report was more a private geek-fest for me. My own technical reports/presentations are much more challenging for me mostly because they are so boring. And they are boring because they are about storage. I hate storage. Its dull. Its complicated in a way where my tiny mind looses track of stuff fast. Networking, on the other hand, is all just a path from one place to another - anywhere, anyhow. Also, its what I got my degree in. How I ended up in storage is beyond me, but I digress... I literally didn't leave my property all weekend. I was up until the wee hours geeking (just like I am tonight! HA!)

The point is, S. came and stood by me for a while and I looked over at her and I just could not believe I have children. I could not believe that she is mine. I can't believe how she has grown. I sat in this same chair, at this same desk (my grandmother's actually) and held her as a tiny baby.

I still can't believe I have kids. I am still a child myself. Sometimes I wonder what people see when they look at me. What do I look like? Does anyone look twice?

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