I can't imagine why it did occur to me sooner, but I'm burned out. Work has been really awful for *so* long and I haven't had a vacation in two years. Yes, I've taken time off, but that is so that I can run all over and coordinate stuff and do stuff - not just do nothing.
I need to do nothing.
Wednesday, July 6, 2011
Wednesday, June 29, 2011
Two Things:
1st - No, for the most part I don't proof read the posts before I hit publish. I just read yesterday's post. UGH! Makes me look like an idiot.
Note to Self: Get your act together, GIRL! Proof Read!
2nd - Went to the ladies' gathering last night for my friend's brother. Turns out there were TONS of people there. Lots of men, but they were outside. Us ladies were inside. I sat next to my friend's brother's widow. She will be 20 in two weeks. There was a short talk about death, and we all read chapters of the Quran so that collectively the entire Quran was read last night by those who gathered. I had to do it in English. These ladies did it in Arabic because that is their language.
I drew a rather long chapter, so while I read many people were talking. I listened in. I learned a lot about my friend's brother. I didn't know him, but he must have been a hell of a guy. Sweet and kind. Juliette, his widow, talked about how loving he was. He sent her flowers all the time. He texted his love constantly. She said that last year they spent her birthday in the hospital because he was so sick. They watched a movie together and giggled with each other the whole evening. She said they were each others' whole world. I have memories like that of times with Zeus - except we have enjoyed God-given good health. I cherish such memories.
I was struck by what Juliette had said. She's so young, but clearly a deep soul. I could tell from the things she said, that she truly knows love through the relationship she had with her husband. As odd as it may seem to say something like this, she has an experience most of us will never have - to be so young, to have loved so wonderfully, and to face moving on. She will be forever strengthened in a way most of us never are. And I know it, the way I know my own name, that she will have a great life where she shares much insight with those around her. She's not like most 20-year-old girls.
Now, go back and proof read!
Caught 4 typos! :-)
Note to Self: Get your act together, GIRL! Proof Read!
2nd - Went to the ladies' gathering last night for my friend's brother. Turns out there were TONS of people there. Lots of men, but they were outside. Us ladies were inside. I sat next to my friend's brother's widow. She will be 20 in two weeks. There was a short talk about death, and we all read chapters of the Quran so that collectively the entire Quran was read last night by those who gathered. I had to do it in English. These ladies did it in Arabic because that is their language.
I drew a rather long chapter, so while I read many people were talking. I listened in. I learned a lot about my friend's brother. I didn't know him, but he must have been a hell of a guy. Sweet and kind. Juliette, his widow, talked about how loving he was. He sent her flowers all the time. He texted his love constantly. She said that last year they spent her birthday in the hospital because he was so sick. They watched a movie together and giggled with each other the whole evening. She said they were each others' whole world. I have memories like that of times with Zeus - except we have enjoyed God-given good health. I cherish such memories.
I was struck by what Juliette had said. She's so young, but clearly a deep soul. I could tell from the things she said, that she truly knows love through the relationship she had with her husband. As odd as it may seem to say something like this, she has an experience most of us will never have - to be so young, to have loved so wonderfully, and to face moving on. She will be forever strengthened in a way most of us never are. And I know it, the way I know my own name, that she will have a great life where she shares much insight with those around her. She's not like most 20-year-old girls.
Now, go back and proof read!
Caught 4 typos! :-)
Tuesday, June 28, 2011
Funeral Today
The younger brother of a friend of mine succumbed to leukemia after nearly a two year battle. He was 27 years old. I'll remember him. His birthday is the day after Iron man's.
I remember people's birthdays. I don't make some huge deal, but I remember them. I remember all kinds of people's birthdays. I have remembered C's birthday every year since I met her in 4th grade.
Zeus went to the burial. They are a different flavor of Middle Eastern - actually since Zeus is South Asian he not Middle Eastern at all, but anyway... Not the same foreign language as Zeus. But his participated in the community of it and that is a great thing. I appreciate that he did this, since he really didn't actually know anybody.
Tonight I'll go spend the evening with the ladies. I know a few people who will be there, including his only sister. The sister is my friend. There will be a lot of foreign language going on, but that's okay. Sometimes all that's required is the comfort of your physical presence.
I remember people's birthdays. I don't make some huge deal, but I remember them. I remember all kinds of people's birthdays. I have remembered C's birthday every year since I met her in 4th grade.
Zeus went to the burial. They are a different flavor of Middle Eastern - actually since Zeus is South Asian he not Middle Eastern at all, but anyway... Not the same foreign language as Zeus. But his participated in the community of it and that is a great thing. I appreciate that he did this, since he really didn't actually know anybody.
Tonight I'll go spend the evening with the ladies. I know a few people who will be there, including his only sister. The sister is my friend. There will be a lot of foreign language going on, but that's okay. Sometimes all that's required is the comfort of your physical presence.
Monday, June 27, 2011
I Had Some Insight This Weekend
As I walked down the hall way in my place, from the bedroom to the kitchen, I realized something astonishing.
Zeus is an "all in" kinda guy. He's serious about emotions. Happy ones, sad ones, all the ones in between, he puts himself into them. He seems like an even-keel kinda guy, but under the surface...
Anyway, earlier in the day he was talking about relationships and how difficult they seem to be. And I could see that he goes over and over them, agonizing over them and what may be wrong with him that they are so difficult and now how he would like them to be. It really made me sad. Watching him suffer of this stuff makes me sad. I try to help - its my nature - but I really don't know what to do to help. We do talk quite a bit and I try to validate him, but that's not doing the trick.
Anyway, he'd been agonizing throughout the afternoon and I just tried to reassure him. But once we got home and started doing other stuff he seemed to lighten up.
So as I walked down the hall I realized he's just like Iron Man. When Iron Man is upset about something the best thing to do is distract him from it. I am not good at this. Zeus is masterful. Perhaps, after a certain amount of talking and validating, I need to move into the distraction phase with Zeus.
This kinda goes against my nature, but doing it anyway may be good for both of us. It may help him move out of the funk, and I'd learn not to talk things to death quite so much.
We are always growing, aren't we?
Zeus is an "all in" kinda guy. He's serious about emotions. Happy ones, sad ones, all the ones in between, he puts himself into them. He seems like an even-keel kinda guy, but under the surface...
Anyway, earlier in the day he was talking about relationships and how difficult they seem to be. And I could see that he goes over and over them, agonizing over them and what may be wrong with him that they are so difficult and now how he would like them to be. It really made me sad. Watching him suffer of this stuff makes me sad. I try to help - its my nature - but I really don't know what to do to help. We do talk quite a bit and I try to validate him, but that's not doing the trick.
Anyway, he'd been agonizing throughout the afternoon and I just tried to reassure him. But once we got home and started doing other stuff he seemed to lighten up.
So as I walked down the hall I realized he's just like Iron Man. When Iron Man is upset about something the best thing to do is distract him from it. I am not good at this. Zeus is masterful. Perhaps, after a certain amount of talking and validating, I need to move into the distraction phase with Zeus.
This kinda goes against my nature, but doing it anyway may be good for both of us. It may help him move out of the funk, and I'd learn not to talk things to death quite so much.
We are always growing, aren't we?
Friday, June 24, 2011
Haiku Friday
Its haiku Friday again! Today's word is dying. This is interesting, as I was musing about that while navigating the 85+101 interchange at 9:30AM, having approached it from the Northbound 85 up, over and down into the jammed abyss.
Anyhow... Dying
Handle the body
Thought it was so important
For their heart to choose
Dying decisions
To be scattered to the wind
But now, let them choose
I try to get that twist in the last line, but I think I need to keep practicing.
I like this exercise. Big thanks to Kim!
Edited to Add: Go over to her page for today's haiku because there are two great haiku's in the comments - well worth the click to savor for yourselves.
Anyhow... Dying
Handle the body
Thought it was so important
For their heart to choose
Dying decisions
To be scattered to the wind
But now, let them choose
I try to get that twist in the last line, but I think I need to keep practicing.
I like this exercise. Big thanks to Kim!
Edited to Add: Go over to her page for today's haiku because there are two great haiku's in the comments - well worth the click to savor for yourselves.
Wednesday, June 22, 2011
Books and Bookshelves
So I follow this blog. Today Angela posted this on her blog.. BTW - Angela can be found at goodreads.
Her post got me to thinking. I've been a grown up for a long time (i.e. I've had my own household for 26 years). My definition of grown up is a post for another time. When I was a child we had book shelves. And on the shelves were books. In fact, the shelves were packed with books. Not nick-nacks, books. Real books. Heavy, hard cover books. And a set of Encyclopaedia Britannica. (Yes, I had to look up the spelling, but I knew that the real work had that blended a-e thing going on! I knew I needed spelling help, though; I am proud to be aware of my short comings :-)). This paragraph is getting long, and its rambling...
I grew up around books. My father, to this day, is a voracious reader. He even got a nook about 7 months ago, that he loves so much that he got the newest one this past weekend.
Decades ago, when the folks divorced, the splitting up of books and book cases was a memorable deal. Much squabbling ensued. He got two book cases because he had more books. Our apartment in NYC, on West End Ave. in the lower 70's, during the lower 70's :-), displayed his book proudly. And it just seemed normal to me to have books all over the place. And my friend C's parents, they had books, too. Two walls covered in books in their 83rd & Riverside Drive penthouse. I just seemed normal to me.
I had books, too. And my dad put up shelves in my room. I rode the subway to school every day and I read. Every day. I loved to read. I still do. I read Gone With The Wind on the A train. My father had taught me to take a book with me where ever I go. You never know when you might be waiting around... I still do. I get twitchy if I don't have something handy to read.
When we made the Great Move from normal, natural, homey coast to granola-sunglasses coast I boxed up my books and off we went. By then we had M. She came complete with books. And records. She's a musician. By then it was the low 80's. I unpacked my books. But I was not home. They unpacked their books and displayed them in the living room. Seemed perfectly normal to me. It looked nice, actually. BTW, these books had been read, by at least one member of the household if not more.
Anyway, I flew the coop promptly upon reaching legal voting age. I don't remember how my books got packed, but I ended up with them in boxes. I moved a lot for the next 5 or so years. Taking them out as often as I had enough room for them. But alas, I have lived in my current apartment, where I've since shed several room mates, married, housed in-laws for extended stays, and brought home two fabulous babies over the course of the last 15 years, and my books are in the original boxes from the right coast and housed securely in the farthest reaches of my mom's garage (which is pretty buried considering its a "tandem" garage, where one care is parked in front of the other and the storage is behind both cars.
Anyhow... For all these years I have felt odd about my books packed away. They should be out and around me. They are the single true collection of my life. And they mean so much. I love them. Each tome I remember. I remember the story, the author, when I got the book. Where I read it, how it settled with me. And I have notes stuffed into the pages. Names, phone numbers, address, maps... My memories are in those books.
And how sad, that in 15 years I've had none of that nor have I continued in my crazy-old-lady way of keeping important little moments stuffed into the pages - some random, others with purpose.
I've rambled long enough. Books are good and people should read them and have them handy in shelves in their homes. I should have mine. But "should" is another post for another time, and perhaps a different blog.
I love my books and will liberate them.
And yes, if you know me well, I seem to have lost 6 years somewhere :-) And no, I have absolutely no idea where they might have gone. I do know this. They were blessed and great.
Twice today I have been reminded that love is the only true force. And I know its true. After all, I love like crazy, it blinds me, it motivates me, and just feels like its the only thing that really matters.
Love ya crazy! I truly do.
And speaking of love. Please give my girl Cherry some love. She's great. She's awesome. Click on over and get to know her. You'll see what I mean.
Her post got me to thinking. I've been a grown up for a long time (i.e. I've had my own household for 26 years). My definition of grown up is a post for another time. When I was a child we had book shelves. And on the shelves were books. In fact, the shelves were packed with books. Not nick-nacks, books. Real books. Heavy, hard cover books. And a set of Encyclopaedia Britannica. (Yes, I had to look up the spelling, but I knew that the real work had that blended a-e thing going on! I knew I needed spelling help, though; I am proud to be aware of my short comings :-)). This paragraph is getting long, and its rambling...
I grew up around books. My father, to this day, is a voracious reader. He even got a nook about 7 months ago, that he loves so much that he got the newest one this past weekend.
Decades ago, when the folks divorced, the splitting up of books and book cases was a memorable deal. Much squabbling ensued. He got two book cases because he had more books. Our apartment in NYC, on West End Ave. in the lower 70's, during the lower 70's :-), displayed his book proudly. And it just seemed normal to me to have books all over the place. And my friend C's parents, they had books, too. Two walls covered in books in their 83rd & Riverside Drive penthouse. I just seemed normal to me.
I had books, too. And my dad put up shelves in my room. I rode the subway to school every day and I read. Every day. I loved to read. I still do. I read Gone With The Wind on the A train. My father had taught me to take a book with me where ever I go. You never know when you might be waiting around... I still do. I get twitchy if I don't have something handy to read.
When we made the Great Move from normal, natural, homey coast to granola-sunglasses coast I boxed up my books and off we went. By then we had M. She came complete with books. And records. She's a musician. By then it was the low 80's. I unpacked my books. But I was not home. They unpacked their books and displayed them in the living room. Seemed perfectly normal to me. It looked nice, actually. BTW, these books had been read, by at least one member of the household if not more.
Anyway, I flew the coop promptly upon reaching legal voting age. I don't remember how my books got packed, but I ended up with them in boxes. I moved a lot for the next 5 or so years. Taking them out as often as I had enough room for them. But alas, I have lived in my current apartment, where I've since shed several room mates, married, housed in-laws for extended stays, and brought home two fabulous babies over the course of the last 15 years, and my books are in the original boxes from the right coast and housed securely in the farthest reaches of my mom's garage (which is pretty buried considering its a "tandem" garage, where one care is parked in front of the other and the storage is behind both cars.
Anyhow... For all these years I have felt odd about my books packed away. They should be out and around me. They are the single true collection of my life. And they mean so much. I love them. Each tome I remember. I remember the story, the author, when I got the book. Where I read it, how it settled with me. And I have notes stuffed into the pages. Names, phone numbers, address, maps... My memories are in those books.
And how sad, that in 15 years I've had none of that nor have I continued in my crazy-old-lady way of keeping important little moments stuffed into the pages - some random, others with purpose.
I've rambled long enough. Books are good and people should read them and have them handy in shelves in their homes. I should have mine. But "should" is another post for another time, and perhaps a different blog.
I love my books and will liberate them.
And yes, if you know me well, I seem to have lost 6 years somewhere :-) And no, I have absolutely no idea where they might have gone. I do know this. They were blessed and great.
Twice today I have been reminded that love is the only true force. And I know its true. After all, I love like crazy, it blinds me, it motivates me, and just feels like its the only thing that really matters.
Love ya crazy! I truly do.
And speaking of love. Please give my girl Cherry some love. She's great. She's awesome. Click on over and get to know her. You'll see what I mean.
Friday, June 17, 2011
Haiku Friday - Mix
I didn't get my act together last week for Haiku Friday. I was kinda down and just couldn't quite do it.
But I am back in the saddle today! I am ready for Haiku Friday - Mix
My children are great
Beautiful Bold Strong and Kind
Both the perfect mix
But I am back in the saddle today! I am ready for Haiku Friday - Mix
My children are great
Beautiful Bold Strong and Kind
Both the perfect mix
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